Shannon Reed

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Yes, it's possible to recreate that beach feel at home.
So many trips were canceled because of the COVID-19 pandemic, and we bet you’re missing them. Here’s a funny little list of signs that you really need to plan another one.
You’ve taken to carrying your passport, even when just heading out to do some yard work.
You’ve laid a towel out on the sand you bought for your kid’s toybox this summer, now sprinkled on the basement floor, to try to recreate that "beach" feel.
You’ve affixed tiny sig...

1. Oh, yeah, for sure, the exhaustion is constant, and it doesn’t ever really get easier. We’d usually make a joke about “Free Post-its, though!” here, except those aren’t free for you in your house, so, uh, just, yes. It’s an exhausting job.
2. Yep, we know. You miss us. We feel the love. And don’t worry, we have completely forgotten about the time last year when we overhead you telling your partner that we “could at least try to look excited about the kids’ recorder concert.”
3. That’s corr...

With COVID-19 grounding our international travels right now, we decided to humorously recollect what a family trip is often really like.
4:00 a.m. Time to wake up! It’s 9 a.m. in much of Europe!
4:30 a.m. No, seriously, it’s beyond time to get up. In Europe, you’d be out of the hotel by 9:30. Stop hitting snooze. Let’s go!
5:00 a.m. Meet your family at the breakfast table, which should include croissants, jamón serrano, and that dusty jar of Bonne Maman you found in the back of the pantry.
5:...

I heard her bra unhinge with a long scraping sound and then fall to the floor with a thunk.
*
The bleeding was ferocious, unknowable, liquid, solid. It poured from her, a libation held to the moon, from it, for it, by it, near it… of it. It was her time of the month, of all months, of every year, of all time… a sacred howl. She was wild with it, the crimson. Full of this mystery, she said she wanted to stay home, and that I should not call her, not now. I retreated, full of wonder, full of fe...

6:45 AM: Wash your hands for at least two minutes. Do this every 15 minutes for the rest of the day. Realize that you would now have an excuse not to shake hands with that professor from your MFA program who always turned it into a long hug. Turns out that there are some good things about the lurking Coronavirus at AWP.
7:00 AM: Drive to your local train station and pretend that you have shared intimate emotional moments with every person you see wandering around. Then purchase a breakfast th...

Your name is Sarah.
A stranger has walked up to you, explained how a system of transportation works, and left before you could further converse with him.
You call pancakes “flapjacks,” “hoecakes,” “griddle bibs,” or anything other than “pancakes.”
You have a propensity for turning on the radio just as some world-changing news is reported. Also, you still listen to the radio.
Your best friend is a horse.
People often tell you not to be afraid of things, including icy ponds, beauty parlors, mus...

4 P.M. “Songs that will get ‘All I Want for Christmas’ out of head”
4:05 P.M. “Play Bob Seger ‘Little Drummer Boy’ ”
4:20 P.M. “How to get children to stop singing pa-rum-pum-pum-pum”
5:15 P.M. “What to do when partner did not pick up groceries as promised and grocery store has closed”
5:15 P.M. “Non-aggressive but extremely clear ways to confront partner”
5:15 P.M. “O.K. to tell partner they have now incurred a formidable debt that must be repaid before they can ever be happy again or too fa...

4:30 P.M. Slowly drive by the party location to make sure you know where it is, realize that you are a half hour early, and park four blocks away.
4:34 P.M. Receive text from hostess: “Hey, did you just drive by? Get in here! Elizabeth can’t wait to meet you!”
4:35 P.M. Reply “I haven’t even left my house yet! I’ll be there around 5:30.” Realize that you’ve just condemned yourself to spending an hour in your car.
4:36 P.M. Realize that you forgot your book.
4:37 P.M. Realize that your phone b...

“Okay, so, that was just the stupidest surgery ever. I totally suck at cutting people open. I am the worst, ugh, take away my medical license.”
“Yeah, I’m best known for being a real estate agent, but I think of myself as more of a pet supply store owner. But that’s just something I do on my own time. For now.”
“Hi Twitter, just here to tell you that instead of going to the bank, which I voluntarily choose to manage, Ima stay home and clean my kitchen, including the spice rack.”
“Tough day fo...

A boozy romp through 1940s New York. A memoir in modern-day New Orleans. A vibrant contemporary kitchen serving up delights in Mexico City. The best books to appear in 2019 take readers across centuries and continents and range from the mouthwatering to the thought-provoking to the delightful. Any one of them offers a vacation from everyday life, just by cracking open the covers. Whether you’re heading out on your next long flight or need a great read for your beachside lounging, here are our...

Like many Lutherans, I go to church services for a variety of reasons, which can change depending on the day. I’m always there for the word, but also, sometimes, to sing hymns, to hear a good sermon or to be out of the house and among people after too ...

I don’t know what to say, man, except that if a couple as great as you and Pam couldn’t work it out, who among us can? Oh, and also, did you guys ever even open that gravy boat we gave you for your wedding? No big deal, but you never sent a thank you note. Dude, you know I don’t care, but Claire, well, let’s say she’s mentioned it. More than once. Pretty much every time she’s on Facebook and sees the photos you posted of you and Pam in Paris, which we now recognize as a last desperate attempt...

I don’t know what to say, man, except that if a couple as great as you and Pam couldn’t work it out, who among us can? Oh, and also, did you guys ever even open that gravy boat we gave you for your wedding? No big deal, but you never sent a thank you note. Dude, you know I don’t care, but Claire, well, let’s say she’s mentioned it. More than once. Pretty much every time she’s on Facebook and sees the photos you posted of you and Pam in Paris, which we now recognize as a last desperate attempt...